Creativity

I don't consider myself a creative person. At least not in the way we typically think of creativity. In general, creativity seems to be this innate ability to create something from nothing. Just saying it like that conjures images of a godlike figure creating the heavens and earth from an eternal abyss. And often times we revere people who are "creators" as if they did possess some godlike quality that the majority of us lack.



Yet in some aspects, I am a creative person. I have the ability to find more efficient ways to run existing programs. Isn't modifying something from its original form a type of creativity? I find new fun activities for my children that help my family connect more. Why doesn't this make me feel creative? I think the answer comes from how I have allowed society to shape my perspective. Society doesn't offer my type of creativity the same recognition that "real creators" receive.

And yet I am still driven to create. I've tried singing, but I am quite tone deaf. I have tried drawing, but I don't have the patience for it. I have tried writing songs, books, and blogs; but my limited vocabulary hinders my desire. I've tried photography, but I just don't have the eye for it. Despite my inabilities I still have the desire to create something. To express myself. For me, creating something is an intimate expression of my deepest thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Perhaps that is why I continue to try; so that people can see the real me. Not the hardworking young man at work. Not the father and husband. Not the outdoor enthusiast. These are manifestations of my true self, but no human can look at me or what I do and see the entirety of my soul. The desire to create is nothing more than a desire to show people my soul in its entirety.

I am a creator? Yes. I won't allow my skewed perspective to take that from me again.